New Speedster Names (Humor)

Wally and Linda try to come up with new names for the third Flash. Lightning, Cheetah, Pegasus...Last night I logged into Twitter and found myself in the middle of a storm in which people were posting joke names for speedsters. It all started when Geoff Johns posted the following:

  • @GeoffJohns0: RT @Brainiacphive Hello. I have a name for you for a Flash character: Speed Date. #newspeedsters #

Well, people went with it! You can read them all at #newspeedsters until the posts drop off of Twitter search’s radar in a few weeks. Some of my favorites:

  • jonahlantern: this one is easy. Bad guy team. Jamaican, with ice powers on top of speed. Cool Runnings. #
  • blacaucasian: Runs Really Fast. Because he runs really fast. #
  • mgrabois: Usain Bolt # (a popular suggestion, but I think this was the first)
  • jester1436: Quickstep and Foxtrot #
  • MarkWaid: Charlie Hustle #
  • Knippenberg: Captain 23-Skidoo #
  • mattfraction: Th Flsh # (@shanajeanh remarked, “too fast for vowels?” #)
  • Mike2112McKone suggested several, including: Zip, Zap, Whoosh, Reverb, Skid and iSpeed.
  • Bart_Allen: All Day I Dream About Speed– another corporate sponsored speedster # (in response to my suggestion of Sprint – and in case you’re wondering, look at the first letters.)
  • ValVictory: Krackle and Pop as in the sounds of the speedforce # (I suggested “The Sounds of the Speed Force” it sounded like a band, and VV agreed, saying “Anyone play bass?”)
  • ValVictory: happy fun American run fast time man — That one is from overseas. #
  • ValVictory: Sir speeds a lot — The U.K. flash #
  • bobbynash: Fast Bastard #
  • housetoastonish: Speedy Alberto Gonzales – He’s Quick To Judge #

Quicksilver? Very Taken.

Stephen Wacker chimed in with a number of characters based on people in the comics industry.

  • Ran Didio. Slow-ey Cavalieri. Street Tomasi. Matt Traction. Slowing Gates. “On your Mark, get set, WAID!” #
  • I can’t stop….Drag Rucka. Ethan Van Slider. Slow Quesada. Richard Running. gRANt. Chasin’ Aaron. Axel Alonso. #

And here are my own humble contributions:

  • Mr. Zip, of course! (As in the panels from “The Return of Barry Allen.” I was really surprised no one had suggested it yet.)
  • The Running Man
  • Sprint(tm), the corporate-sponsored speedster
  • The Hot Flash
  • Zoom’s little brother, Vrooom
  • Greased Lightning
  • Spud Racer – the Mr. Potato-Head Flash.
  • Theed Racer, the Flash from Naboo
  • Race Windu. He’s powered by Force Speed instead of the Speed Force.

Linda suggests Mr. Zip.


19 thoughts on “New Speedster Names (Humor)

  1. Margaret

    Man, watching Usain Bolt during the Olympics, I started hopping up and down on the couch and hollering at my husband:

    “honey!HoneyHONEY HON-NEY!!!! He’s got the Speed Force! LOOKIT LOOKIT! Oh. You missed it.”

  2. Jeff

    Give Wally the name “Turbo” or “Overdrive” (though those might be better names for Bart as an adult…). As long as it’s something that distances him from KID Flash (of for that matter, anything that implies that he’s back to side-kick material again).

        1. Ben

          I think Speedy is still around, but she just isn’t being used as a character. No pun intended seeing as Speedy was a hooker in her first appearance


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